Name: Frank
Hometown: Chicago


Sometimes you have to suspend disbelief and accept the fact that there are time travelers sent here specifically to make you the happiest you've ever felt about leaving your apartment that day.

Also, when I asked Frank if I could take his photo he said, "Yes, but I'm on my way to church so make it quick".

Name: Walter
Hometown: Jamaica

Very few people in this world take the time to keep up their appearance. Grocery store aisles are packed with shoppers in sweat pants. People wait in line for a movie wearing Ugg boots and wife beaters. The unwashed clog the sidewalks with their tangled hair and grease stained t-shirts and create a collective eyesore.

Meanwhile Walter glides through the masses with this icy blue fedora and silk button up, confident in the fact that he's better dressed than 95% of Downtown. Do you even know how much time you need to invest in a pair of boots that white? Especially down here. Think about that the next time you just want to be "comfy" when you're out in public. The rest of us have to look at you, you know?

Name: Tony
Hometown: Los Angeles

We introduced ourselves to Tony as he was walking into his apartment building. I asked him where he came from and he said he was shopping at Ralph's. Guess what everybody? Tony wins, because he's wearing a fucking robe at eleven o' clock at night to pick up groceries. Duh. Let's all focus on comfort from now on when we leave the house, ok?

Name: Laurent
Hometown: Marseilles

Sometimes the people you meet are so perfect, you begin to wonder if you've encountered a phantom. No one but Laurent has been able to successfully pull off this level of sophistication since Rudolph Valentino was making movies.

This rack of white pants at the Goodwill is my period's worst nightmare.

For all your fashion needs, visit Cotter's Church Supply warehouse at 1701 James M. Wood Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90015.

I'm going to wear this clergy robe with seven inch stilettos, a chastity belt and a riding crop on Saturday nights.

Name: Willie
Hometown: Boston

Willie told me all about how he spent most of his life at the horse tracks, gambling, and how much he misses the old Las Vegas. There was more to his story, but it all became a blur once I started visualizing our nuptials.

And I love a man with a good shoe shine.

Name: Larry
Hometown: Dayton

You know how some people are just born cool? Larry forced The Fonz into retirement decades ago. Every man on earth should strive to look this sharp. Know why? Because he's wearing a fucking zoot suit, that's why.

Also, Larry gave me his phone number so it looks like we'll be going steady. Sorry guys, I'm off the market.

For all of you who don't like to take fashion risks, why not buy your bald, handless wife a drab dress for $16.99 from a bodega that is made of fabric that will probably give her a rash.

Name: Trueblood
Hometown: Chicago

I love a man who can casually wear a three piece suit on a Monday night like, hey, no big deal, I'm the sharpest looking dude in this bar. He gets extra credit for donning a cream color despite the fact that the sidewalks down here are coated in a film of bodily fluids. I should've asked him how he kept it so clean.

Name: Heather
Hometown: Montreal

Heather has the right idea. After losing several watches, she safety pinned one to her blouse. I don't own a watch, but I'm going to buy one today so I can give this trend a whirl.

Also, Heather is a lovely woman who lives a block away from me. I'll hopefully run into her again soon.